Got new cleats and friction gloves for Christmas. Winter league returns in nine days. Gonna have sore toes.

Classic new years resolution post coming soon, maybe.

Late night update

The biggest hurdle I have to overcome to be a good handler defender is getting good at stopping the upline. Enough already.

On a wholly unrelated note, I am still really good at calligraphy. Anyone need some nice lettering done?

Ice Turf Shuffle

Got some throwing in on my "lunch" break today. 6pm on the turf, good deal. Still stressing the quick shuffle. Throws were mostly good, doing well in the wind lately. Lacking power though, I feel like I'm throwing at about 90% power at best. Maybe I am focusing on form TOO much, but that seems to be what I need right now. When I get my form up to par it will be easier to put the power back. Forehand is finally taking a good shape, so it seems to be paying off.

I think I need to become a handler defender? Let's face it, I'm not great at stopping in cuts and also I have a pretty good mark. If I can become quick, then handler defense probably makes the most sense. I can frustrate shorter throwers with my size and larger ones with speed (don't laugh, I'm working on it). Never had a specific defensive role, that's a mistake. It is smart to have a defensive speciality, especially on a team with as diverse and large a roster as ours. Gonna practice handler defense primarily and see what happens.

Back to throwing, really getting to like a slight outside in curve on midrange throws. You can do a lot with oi breakmark throws and out shots. Still gotta be able to wind up a big oi if you want to really huck it, though based on last season, breaking the mark is where I can really excel in club. Big hucks are good, but more often than not out shots will be 40 to 60 yards and its not like we have a dearth of players who can throw those. I do want to get to the point where I have monster hucks again, though. Working on that. Throwing as much as possible, throwing as much as possible, throwing as much as possible, etc.

Hopefully throwing again tomorrow. We'll see. No winter league for a couple weeks, need to keep the lungs strong in the meantime.

16 Chocolates

Winter league was squashed into one giant pickup game due to half of the park being covered with snow. In retrospect, it is pretty cool how many people showed up, given the temperature, and how many stayed for the pickup game (everyone?). Not much to say, really. I played alright. Throwing was tough all around due to the cold. It was so cold that it negatively impacted my field vision, which has never happened - probably because I didn't used to have field vision.

Learning to use quick feet on defense. Like a crab, a fast crap. Side to side. I practiced in the bathroom today. If winter league gets any colder than this, My hands might fall off. Guess its time to invest in some friction gloves. Grip the disc harder. That's usually the answer. It does not play to use the conditions as an excuse. It plays to push the extra amount needed to throw and catch properly. Generally threw pretty well, had one forehand huck that was an overthrow and one weird giant OI one that was just the worst. Nearly threw my shoulder out, but that's not why it was bad. It was the reverse. I threw such a bad flick that I almost popped my shoulder. A prime example of how important focusing on form becomes when conditions are bad. Especially in the cold, but that applies to rain or even extreme heat. Anytime you have to push harder to go through the proper motions. First point had a great 35 yard shot for a goal, so one for three on out looks, not the worst.

I think I'm finally learning to play defense like a real boy. PWE.

Sister Winter

First BFF game was really fun. Despite pre game nerves, I played pretty well. Being able to operate in the cold helps a lot. Here's some nuts and bolts.

I need to learn to clear behind when I'm on the sideline and the disc is also close to the sideline. Trying to do anything else, unless the force allows for an upline cut, is going to mess up the offensive flow, etc etc. About 40% of the time (rough estimate) I just get in the way. It was even worse last club season.

I cautiously declare the return of my forehand huck. It is looking pretty good again. Using a slight outside in curve, I can hit seperation or play for the jump ball, either way. My only backhand huck was just brutally point blocked - there was a ridiculously poached receiver and I just didn't pivot at all. That's what happens. Throwing is nice right now, other than that (pivot).

Other than the blocked backhand, my only throwing problems came when trying to hit cutters at wide angles. I'm really starting to see the benefits of the outside in curve in those kinds of situations - I overthrew, very slightly, several endzone cutters (male and female) with flat throws. When throwing at say a 30 degree angle, the disc spins away from your cutter and since that kind of catch is difficult anyway, the margin for error is very small. With even a slight outside in curve, you can make the same throw, but have it rotate toward the cutter. Even a little bit makes it an easier catch. I did that with breakmark throws all season, it only makes sense to do it with wide angle upfield shots as well.

In general, just really excited to play ultimate all winter. I've been running about five days a week, and that has helped my confidence level a lot. Trying to play the long game, eye on the prize. The Stonefish prize, that is. In attempt to get off on the right foot (hot?) I've already designed a kit for next year incorporating some of the maverick Albany dudes' ideas about caverns and whatnot. After the holidays, you all will see that. In the meantime, I'ma keep throwing. No reason to not be great next season.

Dah, comrade.

4,000

At about this time in 2008 2007, I was struggling to finish a sketchbook as part of my drawing foundations final. So again, I am now. The differences between then and now are staggering in a "wow what a trip" kind of way. My drawing skills have improved a lot, and I am far more comfortable with what I do. I can be happy and proud of that kind of work. This current sketchbook is bigger, and I am using both sides of the paper. I've had it going for a year, not just one semester. 

Lots of differences, but the one that matters most is that then I was filling the book for a class, and now I am doing it for myself. Arbitrary goals in both cases, but the self imposition is key. My goal for the year, my first year with no college classes, has been to fill 20 sketchbooks. I did 24 last year, between my thesis grind and a fevered struggle to keep up that pace after graduation. 20, I thought, would be a very reasonable follow up, especially important in a year where it has been consistently difficult to paint. 

Until last week, I had made peace with falling short of that goal of 20. It was okay I reasoned, because I've still drawn a lot. I've improved to the point where I feel ready to finally to push my art out of the nest and into the wider world. So what did the arbitrary goal matter? Last week, I realized why - if I am going to reach my professional and personal goals, I need all the practice I can get at meeting my own arbitrary standards. I have to learn to be my own boss, and that's difficult, so any practice is good. And so I am struggling to fill a behemoth of a sketchbook, the first I've done since childhood that I've kept going for so long without filling. The first I have ever approached with the intention of it standing as an art object all on its own, with far more time given to each drawing that my usual frantic sketches. 

I started it at the beginning of this year of the Snake with those goals, and they have sort of come full circle: I've learned this year to slow down my process sometimes, and give more attention to each drawing. My books have improved because of it, and its been a slow but rewarding process upgrade. It is also a physical example of everything that I need to achieve not only professionally, but also in ultimate. In both endeavors I've always lacked follow through, and practice is needed to attain it. It is crucial that I keep setting arbitrarily high standards for myself, and little by little, working to uphold them. Even if its slow and mind numbingly frustrating at times. 

Even if I occasionally hate myself for falling short. Even if I get distracted, hurt or held down by the elements of life beyond my control. That's the game, folks, as I see it. Everything comes down to making yourself keep on and keep on hacking away at goals, and you have to set those goals for yourself, because most of the ones imposed by outside forces are insufficient or irrelevant to what you want to get out of life. 

Time for work. Have a good one, blagosphere.

Starr

I am often frustrated by how hard it is for me to turn on my "go getter" switch. It comes but mainly goes. Somehow today I was able to hit that perfect headspace that allows for a lot of positive action. Having let myself down many times in the past by talking big about my ideas and not following through, I am not going to elaborate at this time. I put some pieces in motion that will become power moves in the near future, with the proper work. If you're actually reading this, chances are we don't speak very much, but I'd love to tell you about what I'm up to, and hear about ya'll as well. Get at me. We should probably talk more often. 

Much love to the blagosphere. $$$

First winter league game cancelled. Lights not fixed or something. LOLparks. Made it to McCarren for some pickup, good enough turnout thanks to the cancelled game and the weirdly warm December weather. Not much to say, it was some fun pickup. I suck at cutting, my forehand is finally starting to look reasonable, etc etc. Fitness is much better since I have been running every day.

I need to step up my workout game in a strategic way. Need to get fit without burning out. Thinking something along the lines of emphasis on slow twitch cardio and upper body until March or April, and then work on sprinting and agility from then on, working on throwing and squats throughout. Something like that.

I walked with a dude from the game for quite some time before it became apparent that we were both following the other to the train stop. We were not quite on the right track.

Now Here We Go

Tell you what, winter ultimate is just the best. Turkey bowl is a tournament I've always managed to flake out on, and believe me I did my best this year as well, snoozing the alarm until the temeprature climbed above 30 (they won the first game without me). Eventually I dragged my ass out there, and it was worth it. Very cold but little to no wind, amazing. Travis put together a good bunch of people and we took third place, losing to a PoNY past and present sort of team in the semis.

I have little to no impulse to blog about my workouts as they happen. Maybe I will give the analog book a try again and just post about technique and stuff. I'll tell you one thing though, its been a while since I seriously did upper body workouts. I'm stronger than I used to be but after a half hour workout I am sore for days. Rust, yo.

Throws were good today. Forehand hucks still ugly, but what they lacked in shape they made up for in distance. My other throws were good overall. Feeling confident about my ultimate game, I'll mix it up. Getting back in shape has been really fun and rewarding so far, yadda yadda.

Met a bunch of old New Paltz dudes who played ultimate there even before BMo. Crazy stuff. New Paltz has and has not changed, you know.

Sin Eater

Being employed is very nice. Gunxgiving was also very nice, and I am still basking in the glow of the delightful confluence of activities that have made this last week amazing. Despite working a late shift today, I was able to get a good forty minutes of ultimate in, twenty minutes of throwing reps and twenty minutes (maybe nine or ten points?) of 4v4 pickup. Jack Frost's iron cold hand may have scattered pickup attendees to the four winds, but I had a lot of fun getting in upwind huck reps and running wild in the pickup game despite playing in work clothes (featuring sneakers and jeans, won't catch me without my cleats again no matter how cold it is or how late I'm working).

My forehand huck is still tough and annoying but it is starting to take a better shape. My other throws were very good for the most part, although I threw a few backhands way too OI. Pants had something to do with this. A big part of my backhand release is the leg movement. I think maybe that's what I am missing from my forehands, the syncronized foot to hip to core jerk that allows low, powerful throws with a flat shape. Pants don't exactly help with that. Strangely, I had the most trouble with downwind throws. My upwind backhand is working overtime. I think this was also true during the alumni game, but it is hard to remember. Need to remember to ask Brett about throwing angles and wind. 

Feeling pretty good about defense right now. Part of it is the false confidence of playing less competitive ultimate than we did all summer, but part of it is that I am finding myself able to consciously assess my mark in relation to the disc and defensive scheme in a far more lucid way than I've ever been able to before. We'll see where this goes. Head has been pretty clear lately, despite the Gunxgiving after party. 

I've never been able to keep an anolog workout journal going for more than two or three months. Maybe doing it on the blog will work? So today: in addition to the aformentioned pickup I ran a lot to and from trains, around train stations, and a little bit in the neighborhood.Spent about a half hour throughout the day working on basketball shooting technique, which so far has made my throwing grip feel a lot stronger. Not really a structured workout day, but this log has to start somewhere. 

Also I switched my forehand grip back to having my thumb on the flight rings. That has helped. 

I'm going to do fifty lat pulls for every cockroach I kill in the apartment. Being at war with an entire species sucks. I'm not good at hating animals just for doing their thing, but they need to get out of my apartment. Hopefully by tying their individual destruction to a workout activity (that I need, as anyone who has seen my entirly conical torso can attest) I can release some of their energy back into the world in a postive way. Or something. Killing makes me upset. The werewolf sheds a single tear, lurching through the woods, etc etc. 

Winter league starts next week. I will eat winter's blood. 

Get fit or die trying. 

AW yeah

Signed up for winter league, at the last possible moment. Thank goodness.

Gunxgiving and alumni game were a lot of fun. I am really just in love with throwing right now, and getting better at throwing. It was really fun and positive to see how well the team is doing. The current iteration of the team has a really good vibe to it.

I'm interested in running a throwing clinic for the Gunx teams in the early spring. They have a lot of fast people and not a ton of pure throwing skill. A bit of basic throwing structure could help them a lot.

I should definitely be asleep by now.

Quick Flip

My new favorite indoor throwing exercise is laying in bed and throwing forehands as high as possible without having them touch the ceiling. I've always done that really, but this is the first time I've ever been in a living situation where I had a high ceiling AND upstairs neighbors.

I love throwing a lot. Throw with me.

We Made It

Stonefish open practice was excellent. Good turnout and beauteous weather. Better weather than any practice we had over the summer, really. Gabe set a really good tone. Not exactly punctual, and not exactly intense, but it is NOVEMBER and we had upwards of 30 people practicing with us. I was skeptical about the utility of practicing so early in the season but people are clearly impressed by it. It sends a good message.

My throws took some time to warm up. Unfortunately, this took place during the game. Had some awkward turnovers on huck attempts and some weird short game execution errors. Today very much reinforced my desire to practice throwing more, and my desire to DESIRE to practice throwing more, you know? I need to become obsessed with ultimate again, a bit.
After a while I got into a more comfortable rhythm and made much better throws down the stretch. That was encouraging. Felt confident and hit my breakmark throws like a boss.

My cutting is all over the map. When I am cutting well, I get open. That's that. But I have some bad habits that are ingrained, and so sometimes I cut like a giant pile of garbage. I need to get into a more open minded state for learning and thinking about the game, and be more receptive to constructive criticism. It is a step in the right direction that I can smile and make a joke after getting heckled about my poor cutting skills, rather than sulk about it, but I need to seek out more input than that, ask for help and criticism from the skilled and talented folks on our team, and really work to ABSORB it. I know how to cut in the abstract, can teach an inexperienced player how cutting is SUPPOSED to go, but that's a far cry from being able to cut well and decisively every time I step on the field.

Play your role, keep it simple, desire to desire to be great. Practice. Practice. Mental Game. Practice.

I'm a good player right now, but not a great one. I can make great plays but I want to just be great. That takes a lot of work. This team is inspiring, and I hope I can rise to that. We can help each other be amazing.

My grip feels really good tonight. I'd love to go throw right now, but its a little late for that. Practice this weekend. Bang. 

Duck

Finally got back to Mcarren for some pickup fun. It was a bit cold out, and windy. There was a lot of the kind of tentative ultimate that gets played among strangers when throwing upwind and catching become difficult. I hit the ground a lot, which I've been regretting since. Turf burn everywhere. I love ultimate on turf but it has its price, and that price is walking around with a carpet of turf in my sneakers, wincing when my jeans brush against my ripped up knees and thighs. Ya'll know what I'm saying. Made a couple of cool catches, though.

My short game was pretty on point, but I did not get to display it too much because I started out trying to cut and alleviate the glut of handlers that this pickup games seems to produce. Everyone wants to stay back and noone wants to do the heavy lifting as a cutter. Its pickup, okay. Initially I tried some forehand hucks, revealing that my form is really busted. Nothing shows bad form like a really tough wind, and this wind was brutal. Variable force and direction made for a gamble every time, no way to really get comfortable. My forehand needs a lot of work. On the upside, when I allowed myself to get comfortable and fall in to a rhythm, my short game looked really good, including some good io flicks and break backhands. Solid work. Backhand huck looked good, pulls were inconsistent.

Throwing was not helped by a play I made fairly early on, bidding for a disc not worth bidding for, and catching my hand in some kind of pocket in the turf. Its like the turf went to school and ripped the knee of its jeans playing kickball, and had to get a turf patch sown on. I have no idea what the functional utility of these turf patches are, but they are all over the Mcarren field. I made a sliding bid and caught my hand in one. I am expecting to be better in time for open practice. I can throw as is, but at a frustratingly limited capacity given the huck work I've been putting in. Maybe this is a sign from the universe to emphasize my short game.

New Streak

Got a good throwing session in, which helped in part to abate my "recreational headache" from earlier in the day. Put up a solid hundred hucks, plus auxiliary throws. Much more power and better shape, fewer out of bounds. It was easier to keep my pivot foot down hard, leading to better drives from the foot and hips. Practicing is awesome.

The targets were hard to see as it got dark so I visualized Tom cutting deep instead, that actually worked better. I aim much better throwing at humans. It works in frolf too.

Wind gusted up about halfway through, the kind of wind that is not impossible to huck against but certainly not easy. Very gusty. Going the other way, there was one set in particular where the find was perfect to put up huge beautiful throws that just float perfectly with a ton of power. Had one 90+ yard throw that just went, you know.

Forehand form was really ugly today. I can't seem to focus on it. Backhand progress is good.
Getting really excited for ultimate the next few weekends. Oh yes.

Keep throwing!

Betterer

Had a busy day and before I knew it I did not end up throwing. Dammit, streak broken.
Its sad that it was remarkable that I threw every day for a week. That's sad.
Throw more! Throw more!
Okay, me.

Been thinking about that 10,000 hours thing. I don't think I've done anything for that long yet. Still a lot of room for improvement across the board. Its kind of encouraging. When confronting one's limits, it is an easy (and lazy) idea to resign yourself to having peaked at something. That's nearly never the case, actually.

Okay, cool.

Zadda Yadda

Did a lot of hucking today, at least 150 throws, lost count very early on. Changed up a couple things: I brought out a bunch of non ultra star discs that I have and added them to the rotation for 15 discs per set. Freestyle, different discraft 175 molds, flashflight, etc. Even a golf disc, which I lost about a third of the way through, dammit. Rob Mcleod says its a good idea to throw with different molds, so what the hell.

Midway through I made some 10 by 10 yard boxes as targets. I'm definitely past the point where just chucking it as hard as I can is going to get me too far, and lacking a person to aim for, the targets provided a structure of sorts.

Surprise surprise, definitely did better when I focused on keeping my pivot food down hard. Right now that seems to be the limiting factor: when I focus on it, I either throw my best, or overthink it and throw badly. Best to focus on it until I don't have to anymore. Overall, threw much better backhands than yesterday. Forehand was alright, but I'm leaning back when I throw them. Form needs a ton of work.

I did manage to throw some 80+ yard throws, and overall things were much better than yesterday. It was really good to spend so much time outside. My new ultimate goal is to work on throwing everyday, whether its 200 hucks in the cold or just working on technique indoors. Every day. Its not fun to bump up against the limits of your throwing game and find that you can't do stuff you were able to do in college. That's stupid. Next season I want to be much better. I want my huck back. Working for it.

Better keep throwing every day. My throwing game was weak in a lot of areas this past season. I'm better at breaking the mark than I've ever been, but everything else is worse. That sucks. Its hard to throw every day but its doable, better do it man, better do it.

Every bad throw you make in practice is one that you don't have to make in a game. 

Yeah.

Better keep throwing. 

Bo-Bandy

Went out with a stack of plastic with the goal of 100 backhand hucks, or 77 to be cute. First set of ten was okay, lots of different shapes but an average of 55 yards, all falling within the bounds of a hypothetical field. Distance improved from there, but things are kind of wonky. Threw in a few forehands for variety, and my forehand has a much better shape overall, and is more game ready at the moment. I'm worried I'm releasing it a bit high, but it will be a much quicker fix than the backhand. My backhand is suffering from foot dragging, high release points, and lack of aim. It seems to work best when I get really low and drive form the core for more of a laser shape than I'm used to. My core is strong. Boom. Lots of work to do.

Celebrated Ken Dobyns' recent birthday by shanking my commemorative KD HOF disc into the trees, killed a lot of fleeting daylight trying to find it in the bushes. Eventually just grabbed my spare disc and kept on. While watching the flight path of a big OI looper, I saw that the KD disc was stuck about 12 feet up in a tree right above where I was looking for it in the stream.

It was like a moment in the Neverhood where you finally complete the inane action that triggers a cut scene that pans out and shows how everything fits together. Anyway, I managed to hit the KD disc with one of my next throws. On accident! I'm apparently throwing a very consistent looper. That disc bounced off, and got caught in the same tree. I'm getting them down tomorrow, by this point it was practically dark and I'm not looking to twist an ankle messing around in the stream. I called it a day, 60 hucks to noone on the books, not too shabby.

The takeaway of all this? Throwing daily increases my happiness level a thousandfold, and it will take a lot of work to get my throws where I want them for next season. Also, its interesting to note that my best looking throws were with a pull run up. Not just distance wise, but the shape was better. I threw probably three times as many backhand pulls as backhand hucks this season, so that makes sense. Its just weird.

The KD disc looking spooky in a tree, the other disc is blue and refused to show up on camera

If I could do college over,
I'd party more on Sunday nights, with the team after a tournament, and then go to class the next day anyway.

Slowing bringing daily throwing back into my life as a casual activity. Worked on short and midrange backhands today. I've decided to change up my backhand attack with an emphasis on more snappy, speedy throws and the give and go move. Not exclusively, but I've realized my backhands have been way too floaty and more power and snap will get them back on track.

Forehands look kind of ugly, its just rust. Need to keep consistent angles. My forehand was not stellar last season, so I have to start building it now. In general, I have a lot more to offer as a thrower, so consistent practice between now and the start of the season will help me get to where I want to be.

Go throw. Its fun.

Indent

So here's what you're struggling with in a nutshell: adapting to the new paradigm of being your own boss, being an invisible fish in a sprawling yawning ocean of a pond. You're nothing right now, and that scares you, because you got used to the metaphorical four walls of your five years of college experience, where you climbed to the top of your environment, or close enough. You knew it would be a shock leaving and joining the real world, but knowing something does not prepare you for the shock of it, you're not that kind of logical. So here you are now, and you've at least realized that you're back at the bottom of the hill again, and that its okay to be there. Frustrating, sure but nothing comes instantly. It will take years of work to get where you want to go, and that's okay. It will take months of training on top of the groundwork for those years of work and that is okay. You are imaginative enough to make tenuous peace with the idea of devoting yourself to learning to be your own boss, and not hating yourself in the meantime, insofar as that is possible. You're learning to manage your expectations.

So here it is: start climbing. The mountain in front of you is steep, jagged and ominous. It towers over every hill you've climbed thus far. But along the way you have more to gain, and  it is possible because of the work you've already put in. Keep talking to yourself, keep telling yourself that you are doing fine, and eventually you will be. 

Fake it til you

Self advocacy, self awareness, humility, drive, work, work, work, work when you're tired. That's the means to an end, the goal, the dream, success, everything you've ever wanted. The end is no end though, it is an unending series of triumphs and setbacks that lead to goals, but does it ever end? Not for people like me. People like me, either work and work and work forever or lose their spark and burn away, depressed and defeated.

Or who knows, maybe the drive lessons some day. Maybe you can become satisfied at some point, rest on your laurels, or just relax once in a while without the gnawing at the back of the mind. Maybe there is an alternative to the ceaseless clockwork grind towards the unknown, dancing on a tightrope over a void teeming with the howling devils of willful self destruction. Maybe one day I'll calm down and embrace how reality is now, maybe it will even feel nice.

For now though, I just want to be able to make myself do what needs to be done to look at myself in the mirror and smile proudly. Fucking hell. Keep on.

The Princess and the Frog

Nationals is underway, and boy was that Chain - Bravo game fun to watch, all on the big screen and everything. Good stuff. That Jimmy Mickle, my goodness. The new format is pretty interesting. I can't help but wonder if Goat sandbagged in an attempt to draw Ironside in prequarters, or to save legs for the elimination games. Both seem unlikely, but enough people were talking about that kind of thing going on as a consequence of the new format that I can't get it out of my head.

No matter what, Goat can't be too happy with how things played out. Drawing Doublewide in the first round is rough. For that matter, Doublewide sure has a tough road to finals: they have to go through Goat and Bravo on the same day, and then Revolver in semis. Yikes. On the other side, it seems like a pretty open and shut case, Ironside and Sockeye in semis. But what do I know? Not a lot.  It will be interesting to read the retrospective analysis and see if anyone can make sense of how the new format effected the eventual outcome. I'd love to see an Ironside and Doublewide final, which I think I've just stated on this blog for the third year in a row. Ironside was a very cool to watch and play against, a class act that deserves to finally bring home the gold. And if Doublewide wins I get to tell Cat "I told you so".

There's nothing good on cable after 4:30. That has to be a sign. Big day today. Yesterday was our first captain's meeting of the 2014 campaign. My appetite is wet. Awww yeah.

Good morning, blog friends. Hope some of you suckers ponied up for the live feed and get to watch some games today. I didn't, but I might yet.

Stacker Pentecost

Climb in your giant robot, and fight.

Milestones

I've been trying to fudge the math to convince myself that I've been playing frisbee for ten years for quite some time now, but it will actually be true this spring, I'm almost sure of it. I started throwing in the summer of 2003, so its been ten years of that, and while I played ultimate a few times in the fall, it was spring of 04 that I began playing every day at lunch.

Ten years. For those keeping score at home, that places ultimate pretty high on the timescale of things I've chosen to do: Drawing (22 years) > Reading (15 years?) > Ultimate (nearly 10) > Magic: the Gathering (played for 9 years regularly) > kissing girls (8 years and counting, one hopes) > Drinking (5 years and counting, let's be honest) > Writing "Megiddo" (4 years and noone has read a word yet) > Considering Myself an Adult (about a year, ha ha) > Playing Club Open (1 season and counting!)

Went to pickup in Brooklyn for the first time on Monday. Got there a half hour early, and caught the last few points of a high school match. Some school that begins with an R vs Bard High School. As it happened, an old friend and opponent from Bard College was there, and we discussed who on the team he should approach about playing with Bard in college. It was something, seeing an actual high school match. I worked really hard to get ultimate going in my high school but with no experience and little guidance we never got to the level where we were playing organized matches (other than one scrimmage with the burgeoning John Jay Air Raid, probably described in this blog somewhere). That would have been really cool. We didn't really know any strategy. It was a great environment to develop as a dynamic thrower, but it didn't do much for the basics.

Anyway, it was cool seeing these young dudes get the opportunity to play serious high school ultimate. It was not the most competitive game, but both teams played with heart and fairly good fundamentals. Bard High School won by a good margin but both teams were striking deep and had defined offensive systems. It seemed like whichever team remembered to center the disc scored any given point, or else it was a huck to a streaking dude. It was fun to watch.

Afterwards, got a workout in with Bucky (ouch! only once circuit and I'm still feeling it. He did twice as much and still ran harder than me after, that's a hint about how hard one would have to work to have a shot at playing pro in NY) and played some good solid pickup. The Mcarren group, as several people had told me, is a lot of fun. With Mcarren and winter league I can hopefully play straight through until spring, at least once a week. That would be a huge boost over last off season. Basically I'm just excited for ultimate in the way I used to get in high school, where I'd feel giddy just walking to the field.

10 years of throwing, this off season is where I will prove to myself that its all been worth it.
That's kind of melodramatic.
Okay.

shadows on the wall of the cave

There are twelve discs on my wall now, in two neat rows of six. At night, my painting lamp has them casting oblong shadow selves in a most pleasing way.

Under the disc rows are two pictures of the Stonefish - the original drawing that became our blue jersey design, and the frantic happy scrawled fish I drew to post on the facebook group after we qualified for regionals.

This past summer it took me forever to get the jersey designs done. Their design process serves as a pretty good metaphor for my captaining performance versus how I plan to captain next season: the design process lacked confidence and punctuality, and was was put on the back burner due to tasks in other areas of life.

On the other hand, we have eight months or so to plan and get ready for the upcoming season, and the confidence of knowing that this team works, is really fun, and has a high competitive ceiling. I am more confident about ultimate, and life, than I have been in a long time, and I will be ready to be a strong, confident leader and positive role model next season. I have a long time to work on it, and you can bet the jersey designs will be done on time.

Late night greetings, blog friends.

Braingeyser XUU

This month is going to be a ride I can already tell.

In the interest of committing to this team and my role on it, I am planning a workout regimen starting now, going up to and through tryouts. Insert the same tired litany of "this will be the year I get in shape" here.

In any case I believe in myself again, and I believe in this team. It will be fun to do it again. Stonefish II. More poison, more butts. Its all good.

Time to Tell the World

I used to be pretty against the clap catch but these days I favor it for about 80% of catches.

Tipping Point

I was having a very productive night but I think I've wandered past "productive sleep deprivation" and back into the familiar realm of "recursive nonsense" sleep deprivation. Despite the world beginning to fog at the edges, as it does when you are desperately fighting to stay awake for no good reason, I'm still enjoying a clarity of thought that has been mostly absent of late.

I'm inclined to start delving into personal issues, but that's probably bad blogsmanship. Its just that noone else is up at this hour, other than my cousin, who has heard it all. But forget that. I've got a backlog of things I've been meaning to write about.

Regionals came suddenly and was over even quicker. It was very exciting to get to watch elite teams play live for the first time. Semis PoNY vs Ironside was an amazing game, with huge plays on both sides. One of the coolest things was seeing calls on close, important plays, between some of the best players in the game, resolved calmly and quickly. I've seen self officiation break down over much lower stakes, so it was very cool to see it work smoothly at such a high level. I made it a goal to improve my call game and get less heated on the field, and I am happy with how that went this season, but there is a higher level. Having seen it, I will strive for it.

A big part of that comes down to the lucidity one can experience playing the game if you are really fit. This blog, more than anything, represents my struggle to construct a work ethic that will serve as an ultimate player and a functional adult human. I've been chugging along but my previous practice has plateaued and I need to strive for a higher level of work ethic in ultimate and life beyond.

Sleep is here and won't be denied for long. Good morning, blog friends.

I am the highway

I am so not committing to the full recap of  regionals that I had in mind, not right now, that's a task for a day or so from now, but the blog is calling me all the same. Tough tournament but a lot of motivation to continue. I can probably be a better captain in the off season than I was this season past. Stonefish has a high ceiling but we need to build a ladder to reach it.

Hey.
Good season you guys. It has been a pleasure and an honor to share the field with ya'll.

Seeya later this week, blog friends.

One Fish Two Fish

Regionals in the morning. The regionals qualification monkey removed, my back feels light and unburdened. I am ready for this tournament.

One more day to get to lead this excellent group of wacky gentleman ballers. One more day of team chemistry and groundwork for next season. Challenge accepted.

Aqua teen is on. Sleepy time.
Surreal dreams and bright mornings, blog friends.

Having a classic unemployment day of leftover chinese food and watching youtube videos, including the pro flight finale Revolver v Doublewide. Don't tell me who wins, I'm only at halftime as of this posting.

This year we get to watch Northeast Regional Finals live. I've never seen live elite ultimate. I am very excited. Ironside vs PoNY vs Goat oh mannnn. 

Remember to pack: warm clothes. Warm clothes. Warm clothes. Cleats. Fun. 

I thought I had more to say about preparing for regionals weekend. Mainly, I just need to get outside this week and remember how to catch in the wind. 

Okay. 

Seeya. 

Hah whatever.

I swear things smell different when you stay up all night. Maybe after midnight my sinuses work better, or maybe I am just more susceptible to nostalgia.

Its the shaving cream. Something about my new shaving cream (1.69 BOGO at rite aid) is reminding me of all the good parts about staying up all night in college. Soft blue light, sad music, making art, throwing the frisbee on the quad in the middle of the night and then sleeping all day as the snow falls. The kind of thing that, taken together as a montage, could make a pretty crappy indie style movie marketed for high schoolers.

But that was life once. My beard is gone now, and I just want to walk around in the early morning light, or better yet play some disc in the crisp early fall air. But despite the lingering post sectionals euphoria, it is time to go back to the real world and I have doomed myself to staying up until after a job interview, for fear of sleeping through it. Some things don't change, but what has changed is I know that when I am again employed, I'll be able to quit this staying up all night shit and get back on a regular schedule. Hopefully however, I won't lose the impulse to chase some plastic in the autumn breeze. I love fall ultimate the best.

Two weeks until my first ever regionals.
ZOMG.
Good morning blog friends.

Absolution

Stonefish takes third at sectionals, advances. Yes.

We had slow starts at tournaments, finding our feet before gaining confidence later in the day, leading to some losses to teams who lost to teams, that we beat later on. Ultimately, the regular season raised more questions than it answered. What was the significance of our close game with High Five, for instance? (no idea) Would we be able to have a strong sideline presence after several practices and tournaments with low numbers? (hell yes, it turns out!)

In the end, we did enough chemistry work that when we assembled everyone on the same field, things fell into place and we played very strong ultimate all weekend. Our sideline was supportive and positive, and our energy was very good all weekend. It felt so good to qualify, after many years of playing with these dudes in various forms. A lot of old ghosts were put to rest, and we've earned two more weeks of Stonefish, and a much stronger position for next year. I'll write more about it at a later date, maybe.

For my part, I'm finally starting to understand how to play as a handler when you are not trying to get the disc every single play. It allowed me to calm down and see the whole field better, and I think I played my most consistent and successful tournament of the season. I want to be better next year, and our success as a team is a great motivator.

Next mission is to find some pickup this week so I can get some reps in before regionals. I did not throw enough this season, so my throws were sloppy. I did not run enough, so I was not in good enough shape. This is very simple math. I can be a better player if I force myself to be. Easy. Hard. Life.

Seeya, blog friends.

Dear Diary

It has been difficult to write about ultimate this summer and I am overdue for a personal inventory. My performance in August was 50/50. I have steadily improved the technical issues plaguing my game at the beginning of the summer, with only one drop at NY Invite (and none at the last practice that I can remember...").

My mental game has been incredibly inconsistent. When I am focused, I have been able to get open for dumps (and clear for the other handlers) and play defense far more consistently than I have ever been able to before. When I am unfocused, I have had bad defensive miscues, clog the cutting lanes or occasionally wander upfield. 

That's just it. I'm either playing with my eyes closed or open. When I can focus and see the field, things go pretty well. So my goal for practice this weekend is to play focused, play my role, and cut intelligently in the handler spot. That done, everything else takes care of itself. The cutters are there. And if they're not, we reset until they are. This team is sweet. 

The other thing is, when I'm off the field I need to stop focusing inward on my own mistakes or whatever, and just work on getting people fired up, or focused, or wherever else we need to go. Captain stuff. 

Oh yeah also slowing down my pace. I play frantic when I'm unfocused, and vice versa. Just relax man. Ain't for nothing that hippies took a liking to this game before the rest of us. 

Responsibility List:

On Field: 

Eyes open

Catch the pull 

Advance, reset and center the disc 

Call the offense 

Etc Etc

Off field: 

Be a leader 

Don't overthink it 

Be positive and direct 

I don't know what the future holds but one of my goals is to end this ultimate season in such a way that it is a memory I can cherish for the entire off season. What else is there? Maybe I'll get a custom layout for the blog. Maybe I'll stop writing about ultimate. I always have difficulty with ideas to big, setting goals too wild and outlandish, running my mouth and writing checks that I can't possibly cash. I probably won't stop, but nonetheless another goal is to live in the moment and just like, exist you know?

Goodnight blog friends. Thanks for reading. 

Mad Cardio $$$

Been impossible to blog lately. Not for lack of things to write about, just lost my ability to write for a while. You know what I mean?

The frisbees on the wall of my new apartment are uneven but so is the floor so its all good. I like them that way.

Been doin
Mad Cardio.
Benzo out.

Scramblin'

Well it sure has been a while, ol blog ol buddy. Fell of the blag wagon for a while, such things happen. Worry not, dear readers - I will never leave you for too long.

I've now played outdoor ultimate twice this year. Indoor has taken its toll on my throws, and it will take a while to rediscover the mechanics and angles I need.  This early season for me will be all about shaking off rust and becoming mentally and physically tough again. While my mental game was my greatest area of improvement last season, (while treading water at best physically) the difference this season is that I really want to play ultimate again - in a way I have not felt for a long time. Its almost like, high school again.

In the brief sampling of outdoor points I've played, I've been living and dying by my forehand throws. This is not thrilling - at tryouts my forehand was inconsistant, and yesterday at pickup I figured out why - I'm basically strong arming every throw from the upper body, barely engaging the core and not moving low with the legs. I've got a lot of power but every throw is too high and kinda sucks. Hucks on both sides have been blading, but my short backhand is looking super dirty. Better throw more of those. Forehand will improve but its going to take a lot of reps. On the upside, I have a lot more power to put behind the mechanics, when they do imrove.

Meanwhile, the college season speeds along to its imminent end. I'm interested in the Callahan race this year - it has a certain kind of intense hype that has seemingly been missing from the last few races. I'd love to see it go to Jimmy Mickle - in a field of talented all around players, Mickle arguably does the most to bring up the playing level of his supporting cast, and he can seriously ball. Its also unfortunate to note that Brian Hart may lose simply because of not being on NexGen, kind of a bummer. His highlight reel is tight work, but the other four frontrunners have hours and hours of NexGen footage, and that's hard to compete with.

As for the finals, questions abound. Is it finally Oregon's year to live up to the hype? Will Pitt rise again? I've love to see a Pitt - Wisco rematch. It will also be interesting to see how this first phase of the USAU - ESPN deal plays out. Gotta hope for quality.

Whoah. Blerg. Okay nevermind cool.

Highlights from winter league tonight:
-told a high schooler to "GEDDOF me"
-cut pretty well

EDIT 5/8/14 It is especially funny to note, in retrospect, that it was not a high schooler. It was Cat. I assumed he was a high schooler because of his boyish good looks, and the way he tried to rugby tackle me on the mark at a league game. Having since been his teammate at indoor nationals and club regionals, I know that that is simply a result of the way he attacks the game: Cat gon' getcha.

I can't really describe how things taste, not really. Recalling a specific taste is one thing but my brain can't make the sensations into words without a lot of grasping, inane comparisons. I'm not that kind of writer?

Anyway league was good, barely had an asthma attack and threw some sweet backhands.

Mad Nerd Days

What does it mean to live a complete life? It seems like some people can just do their thing, just live without reflexively examining every action from the viewpoint of a self obsessed neurotic person, but maybe its just because I can't see in their heads. I worry too much, and worry about worrying to much, and get angry in the car on the way to work.

But things are pretty good, and getting better is the plan. These are just the kinds of things I think about late at night, when I'm not particularly invested in sleep and decide to read old webcomics instead of drawing or doing night pushups.

Anyway, last week at league was okay. Asthma was better, made some nice backhands, etc. This week, today, I am approaching the game with a renewed mentality. I'm not going to worry about having an asthma attack or not playing good d or whatever. I'm just gonna show up, take a few puffs on the inhaler 15 to 30 minutes before gametime, and ball hard until I can't anymore. Its just winter league for gods sake.

I like words that have that weird silent h. Isthmus, alchemy, etc. Asthma is kind of a cool word, and I'ma make it my bitch. I will have a cool word for my bitch. Goodnight all.

Nervous Night Blog

I guess the best thing you can say about my first indoor league game is that each subsequent game is a chance to do better. First game started off with a bang and ended with a whimper. My first point I got a layout d, threw a goal, got a handblock and subbed out, and while I did score some goals and get some ds it was more or less downhill from there.

Asthma kicked in. By the end of the first game I could not breath. Fortunately I had my trusty inhaler!

Have not had asthma this bad in years. This week feels better though and getting back on the workout grind should help. Spin spin spin...

Indoor is so much fun though I love it. And spring is starting to rear its filthy dirty head and tentatively sniff its surroundings.
Yes.

Oh yeah so why was indoor so bad? I cut terribly! So bad! This week will be better.

What's New in Hogsmeade

Nocturnal was awesome. Best one yet? Who knows. Can barely remember any of the other ones, at this point they have sort of merged in my mind. What I do know is I was more excited about seeing old friends and teammates than I was about playing. My team had some great people on it, and had probably the best chemistry of any hat team I've ever played on, but was not a ton of fun in general if that makes any sense. Also I could not breathe. Bronchitis left my lungs feeling ravaged and it took my top gear away. But my legs held up pretty well, endurance training is paying off. I am super psyched to get back to working out. Cutting got easier as the night went on but my lung endurance got worse. Subbed more intelligently than I have in the past, if certain members of my team had done the same we would have won more games.

 But the best was just hanging with the Gunx. I miss that. Not being in college has shown me how important ultimate was as a community. Its hard not having friends nearby and I think that was important to realize.

 Harry Potter world is legit. Go there. It was so much fun and if you book early it is not too expensive. Going next year, most assuredly.

 Now that nocturnal is over my workout goal is club tryouts. I keep having ultimate related dreams, seemingly fueled by anxiety about club. What is that about? I don't really know. Dreams are weird. But I am looking forward to summer ultimate in a way I have not in years, if ever. I think I am getting my mojo back, slowly.

 Going to winter league for the first time this week! Yes!

Baby Days

Being sick is killing my workout flow. It is pretty good motivation though, blah blah not being able to train puts training in perspective, blah blah. Oh but I went to Gunx practice on Sunday and that was super fun. First ultimate of the year! Played okay. There are some tall dudes on the team this year. Also some fast dudes. Its pretty sweet! Lately been considering how I and others can help take Gunx from a team into a club. What kind of role could alumni play in helping out? We are not really a financially solid bunch yet. David and Danielle and Stephen are putting in reps helping the team and that is awesome. What can those of us away from the Paltz do to help? Something to think on. I want to help the team any possible way. League starts this week, and Nocturnal. Vitamin C all day. Got nothing going on really but being lucid enough to write is a nice change from earlier in the week. I'm a big ol baby when I get sick.

Gymbeard Bikebutt

Before we begin, here is a handy feature I have devised for the reader on the go. If you are too busy to keep up with my erratic but clearly relevant update schedule, just bookmark this page and read the following paragraph every day on your way to work. It is a boilerplate that is interchangeable with any given update in the coming weeks. That way you can keep up with me without adding undue tedium to your busy commute through the mortal plane.

"Dear diary blog. It was a dark and dreadsome day at work until I got home and preformed a workout activity. Working out yet again proves to be the valium for the mortal acrophobe that is me navigating the massive roller-coaster of seasonal and work related depression. I made moderate gains, and am looking forward to when the season is yet again favorable to compete in flying disc sports. Related statistics. Esoteric quip. Tangentially related video."

Won't that simplify things? Now back to the action.

Today I totally kicked butt at spin class. I felt like such a poop on the way to the gym and nearly called in sick. To myself. That's weird, right? Anyway, I somehow got to the gym and it turns out taking a few days off payed off. I felt great and it was the first spin where I was able to complete every standing climb. I only felt like I half assed one 45 second race, which is a lot better than last week where I plateaued fairly early and did not push myself much in the last third of the class either time.

Gains! Progress! Depression laid waste for another evening!
Seeya.

YowieOoo

I just learned how to properly do reverse crunches and they hurt so good.

Buying my home gym tonight. Having a job is a lot cooler than I always imagined!

Lost Song

Second spin class went well, improved my form and breathing techniques and paced myself a little better. I still wanted it to be over the entire time, but two major improvements were a)knowing more or less how long it was and how much more there was (it is easier for me to push harder when I have a clearly achievable end goal) and the small moments of triumph that occurred when my better form allowed me to push harder.

I was able to standing climb a lot more and for longer, but still had to stop early about half the time, more towards middle. In the beginning I had more energy and in the end I had more drive. Plenty of room for improvement but better than the first time. Great cardio.

Given my current work schedule, three spin classes a week is a little over the top so I am going to stick to two for now. Still training six days a week, keeping that up as long as possible. Training a lot makes rest days seem amazing and hard won. Working a lot makes days off seem precious and golden. This ain't college but I'm starting to like it.

Confronting seasonal depression helped.

I dunno what else to blog about. Working out is it. Yeahhh.

PS this is kind of a cool variation of big dick. Don't like a low to the ground target but still cool. Maybe have the target be a person?
I miss throwing. I miss being outside, and nice spring days where you play all day in the warm mud. Ahhh this season is going to be awesome though, and I am working to earn that now and in the coming months and that feels good.

Workout Review: Spin Class

It is MLK's birthday and also my dad's. Both are inspiring to me, the latter kicked my ass at cycling today.

New goal: spin three times a week for the next month, get cardio up and build a muscular baseline for phase II.

The world is full of sadness, violence, senseless hatred. Working out makes that go away for a while.    Lately, not much does it for me, working out is saving my psyche.

I leave you with this.
Boom.

Pattern Interrupt

I had stuff to write about for today but then I had my mind blown by 8 min abs level II. Somehow I've been doing that workout for years but never advanced to the next level (a fair metaphor for my ultimate fitness, but anyway). It is very different and that was jarring. Only could not finish one exercise though, so I will do it again in two days.

Ran my longest run of the year (awesome), and had my first throwing session of the year (really??).
It is amazing how working out can cure depression. New goal work out twice a day for maximum peace of mind. That would be super sick.

Talking to myself on the blogophone

The trend this week is I get home, watch a movie and talk myself into taking an off day, and then snap and work out hard. Go with what works I guess.

Building motivation one little cat step at a time (there are no babies in my house). However, I have not figured out a way to motivate myself to run outside. I want to go every day but not enough to actually do it most days - it is a choice of getting up wicked early and going before work, or going after work at seven or eight in the dark and cold. The former option is a lot safer, but it is going to take the biggest adjustment yet.

While that is a major question mark style work in progress, the upside is that despite the lack of motivation when I get home from work, I spend all day at work looking forward to working out. Progress.

Self Obsession, Self Creation, etc etc

Getting back into shape has come with constant reminders of how much my physical fitness has become tied to my sense of self, and my confidence. I aspire to be a fairly zen, smooth guy, you know? Just one of those guys that gets it done. But I'm not really there yet, or else I would be a lot less bothered by the now and just trust in the process of getting back into shape, trust that repeated action and discipline will provide the desired results and in the meantime, just be cool.

But I don't trust the process, because without ultimate I am kind of lost, fitness wise. It is really hard for me to train seriously when I can't play ultimate regularly. But I have, finally, begun the process of shedding the off season rust and getting back in the swing of things, and so it was that I found myself at the gym today wondering exactly what I was doing. 

I'm not good in the gym by myself. I revert a little bit to the scrawny high school freshmen afraid of all the big scary guys, afraid to do the wrong thing. After a warmup run I feel a little better, but I don't like the dull grind of treadmills and stationary bikes. Running without a disc involved or a destination in mind is not palatable.  

Sure does beat not running though. 

And that thought process started a chain reaction of small scale epiphanies. There was a time where I just loved ultimate so much that it was an all consuming obsession. It was more or less all I thought about, all I wanted to do, all I did. That changed, gradually, in college. Ultimate became foremost a responsibility, and my passion was dampened by consistently failing to reach my personal goals, let alone the expectations of others.  I managed to take the game both too seriously and not seriously enough, and that kind of ruined it for a while. 

Now though, I'm trying to be an adult, to get my career off the ground while slogging through the minutiae of low paying jobs, trying to move out of my parents' house, etc etc. And I'm finding that I need ultimate in my life, the kind of joyful physical celebration sort of ultimate that makes real life go away for a while. And I need the energy that being in really good shape provides, so that I can get home from a ten hour workday and still have the fire to draw pictures and preform logistical tasks. 

I can't try and Ken Dobyns my ultimate career anymore. I can't make it my number one priority. My career is more important. But I want to play, as much as I can. And I want to have fun every time I step on the field. If I can change my mentality and attitudes about the game, I suspect I will become a better player and have a much healthier field demeanor. I don't like who I am in ultimate, but I will. Ultimate needs to be my escape, never something to escape from. Its fun.  

So in the absence of a clear-cut ultimate goal (next season being far away and fraught with uncertainty) I have come up with a few general purpose, somewhat arbitrary fitness goals, some targets to shoot at. Why not. I need to be fit. If nothing else, nocturnal is coming up. If nothing else, not being fit sucks so bad. 

I want to be able to: 

Do 100 pushups. 

Do sets of 12 pullups. 

Pull 100 yards. 

Forehand huck 80 yards. 

Weigh under two hundred 

Run a five minute mile, why not, I hate distance running for its own sake but it would be cool to run a five minute mile

Win Nocturnal 

Train six days a week (running, throwing, and upper or lower body)

It takes a lot of writing and thinking to get myself on the right path. I probably would not have made it as a caveman, who ever heard of a neurotic anxiety ridden caveman? Nobody, because they did not have the internet to tell us about it. But nobody quite at ease ever went down into a cave to scrawl on the walls in blood and dirt. 

I like 2013 so far. Keep it rolling. 

Hobbit Review (SPOILERS)

Hobbit Review (SPOILERS)

In my highly informed opinion, the best CGI that has ever been done. Gollum looked unreal, and by that I mean he looked extremely real.

Deviated from the book in ways that interrupt the narrative flow somewhat, and there are a lot of small changes that will bother power nerds. I was okay with most of them. Did not entirely like the Rivendell scene, and a lot of the added fight scenes bordered on Watchmen - like ridiculousness. Its a fine line though, and for the most part they were entertaining and not annoyingly gratuitous.

This movie on its own works best for people with a reasonable familiarity with Tolkien's writing - you need a passing knowledge of the Return of the King appendices and the Unfinished Tales. For those who know the entire canon and cosmology, the narrative is a little diced up and there are a lot of small changes that will be bothersome (Azog is a dead goblin, Gollum has six teeth (c'mon I mean really) etc etc). For those who have only seen Lord of the Rings or are even more unfamiliar with the mythology, the movie is likewise problematic (what the hell is going on, where's Legolas, etc etc).

For the latter group, the movie should improve depending on the strength of the next two. I suspect they will be fantastic. The seige of Dol Guldor is going to be so sick, and meeting Benedict Cumberbatch under the mountain should be absolutely epic.

All in all it is a good start to the Hobbit trilogy. Can't state enough how amazing the cgi was. The landscapes are sweeping and magnificent, with Jackson and company's typical attention to detail. Going to see it in imax next if possible.

Okay that's enough movie reviewing its bedtime dontchaknow.

Bridget Jones' Dairy Farm

Twenty thirteen, here it is. Rang in the first day of the new year with the manic energy and strange thought patterns typical of a heavy but not terrible hangover. Got a lot of work done! Drank my last soda for a while cause ITS TRAINING TIME BABY WHOO.

Sorry got a little worked up just then.

Basic Benjamin Stats:
(for the beginning of the year, need a reference point. This is our raw material.)

Weight: 223
Anxiety Level: Moderate
Heart: Warm Fuzzies. Humanity is beautiful if a little scary sometimes.
Websites launched: None.
Cardio Fitness: Like a shetland pony with a sloth's ambition
Throws: Who knows? Forehand blades with boots on look good.
Days since last drunk: 0.6
Toothbrush: lost (gross)
Drunk pushup max: 29.5


So there you have it. Obviously a lot of room for improvement, but probably better than my baseline fitness in other seasons.
Probably.

Low fitness is troubling but career wise I have clear goals in mind and clear steps to take to start moving toward them. Also the Hobbit was really good.

See you next week, blog readers!