Indent

So here's what you're struggling with in a nutshell: adapting to the new paradigm of being your own boss, being an invisible fish in a sprawling yawning ocean of a pond. You're nothing right now, and that scares you, because you got used to the metaphorical four walls of your five years of college experience, where you climbed to the top of your environment, or close enough. You knew it would be a shock leaving and joining the real world, but knowing something does not prepare you for the shock of it, you're not that kind of logical. So here you are now, and you've at least realized that you're back at the bottom of the hill again, and that its okay to be there. Frustrating, sure but nothing comes instantly. It will take years of work to get where you want to go, and that's okay. It will take months of training on top of the groundwork for those years of work and that is okay. You are imaginative enough to make tenuous peace with the idea of devoting yourself to learning to be your own boss, and not hating yourself in the meantime, insofar as that is possible. You're learning to manage your expectations.

So here it is: start climbing. The mountain in front of you is steep, jagged and ominous. It towers over every hill you've climbed thus far. But along the way you have more to gain, and  it is possible because of the work you've already put in. Keep talking to yourself, keep telling yourself that you are doing fine, and eventually you will be.